About Misty

Hi I’m Misty Carson step mom of two awesome teenage boys. My husband and I live in a cabin in the woods in the hills of Tennessee and live one crazy stepfamily life. During the day I run my own vocal studio on Music Row and at night I make dinner and help with math homework! I am excited to start this site to connect with other Christian stepmoms who need a place to breathe, reconnect with the Lord, and gear up for the every day stresses that come with being a step mom. I hope you’ll join me on this journey!

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24 thoughts on “About Misty

  1. Hi Misty!

    I really enjoyed reading your blog. It’s quite heartwarming and I’m so happy for you and your family. Each day it seems like your bond as a family becomes stronger. I wish you all the best and I’m sure to keep an eye on your blog in the future 🙂

  2. Hi Misty!
    I just stumbled upon your blog and love it. Being a stepmom is the biggest challenge I have faced and it is so encouraging to read your posts! I love finding a good Christian resource in regards to having a blended family. I understand the logistical and emotional complexities that come with being a stepmom and it makes me happy to see another woman devoted to serving the Lord and loving her family regardless of the feelings and circumstances that can go along with the blended-family life! I know many blended families, but no stepmoms. It is so nice to just know that there are women out there who go through the same difficulties and joys of being a stepmom! I have definitely needed some encouragement this week and your blog reminded me that God is really the One who brings true joy, peace and security in our identity. I will be spending some extra time in prayer and in the Word today!

    Thank you!
    Bridget

  3. Hi misty! I just found your blog while searching for some helpful advice and encouragement on being a stepmom. I just got married two months ago after dating my husband for two years. I could not he happier with him, he is such a blessing to me. He has custody of his 8 year old daughter. I am so thankful that we are able to have her and be a good influence in her life, her and I are pretty close. But as she gets older, and now that me and my husband are married there are more stresses that come from her real mother. Her mom is such a terrible influence and I hate seeing my little girl being influenced by it when she goes on visitation. I am a very young mom and sometimes feel overwhelmed on how to deal with it al and how to be a bigger stronger influence then her mother without causing more friction. She is such a sweet loving little girl, and I pray to God he gives me the strength to do the very best I can do. Thank you for sharing your stories and encouragement.

  4. Dearest Misty, I recently started looking for Jesus centred resources and am so blessed to have found your blog. I’m in a serious relationship with a dad of an 11 year old. I’ve been saved for many years and grew up in a Christian home, whereas he got saved 2 years ago and is still going through a tumultuous journey. I was ready to call it quits after reading the most horrifying articles on the web the last week about mixed families and the loneliness a step mom has to bear, until I read your blog.
    He’s a wonderful man with a very hurt but sweet daughter. She truly wants to serve the Lord which makes it easy for us to talk with her about things of the Lord. I’m having trouble connecting with her and her dad gets discouraged, as he is also not connecting with her as much as he wants to. She visits every second weekend and one holiday a year. We want to make our time with her fun, but being an only child, we have to keep entertaining her so she doesn’t become bored, and the things we like to do as adults isn’t fun for her.
    I’m trying quite hard to find ways to make weekends enjoyable for the 3 of us, while still getting time to rest after a rough week at work. My plan is to create a schedule with times for everything from bed times to tv time to create some structure. We’ll have to see how it goes, I’m not sure what to expect as there hasn’t been much structure around the house for a looong time.
    I’m the worship leader at my church and the spiritual attacks that come with it just adds to the stress of the weekend. I can easily spend less time with them on the weekend to practice music, but it just won’t help us get to know each other. You might end your weekend on a high note with her, but then you have to start again from scratch the following weekend.
    I’ve just purchased a kindle copy of Smart stepmom at your recommendation and am trying to make a list of activities 11 year old girls might like. So far baking has seemed to work well for me.
    I have probably asked myself a hundred times if I am setting myself up for my biggest failure to date, but I keep being reminded that the Lord prepares you for His divine purpose, and what is a bigger calling than him entrusting these two beautiful people into my care? I don’t have any children of my own yet and my boyfriend doesn’t want to wait long after our wedding to start having babies. The thought of having my own is exciting, but I am also grieving the loss of little things, like that we won’t be having certain “firsts” together. He says he can’t wait to see my tummy grow and to see my face when I hear the tiny heart beat for the first time. As endearing as that is, I can’t help but know that he speaks from experience.
    I have the benefit of knowing that he is going to be a fantastic father, and has chosen me to be his first wife. He is starting a new family with me from scratch, and I want to want to make room for this little girl in our home. This is a new season of prayer I’m going into. You’ve truly given me courage.

    Thank-you!! 

    • I would recommend the two of you going to a coffee house to share a special drink and treat. My girls love it. I have 2 biological and 2 step. I also have 1 bio. son and 2 step.

      1. coffee shop (my girls love the decaff. frozen drinks and pastrys.
      2. manicure date (or do it at home)
      3. trip to mall (just window shopping is fun)
      4. walk around a lake etc. and ice-cream
      5. let her choose a board game to play with you.

  5. Like Annmarie…. I was reading so many blogs written by stepmoms that were so worldy and secular making me feel as if there was no hope in any kind of true happiness in a blended home. I know days will be hard , but those stories and personal accounts were very much discouraging. I am marrying in September to a man of four boys and I have one boy of my own. Reading those articles gave me the coldest feet ever. I started then googling christian blended homes and came across this. What a breath of fresh air…. we need to remember as Christians when our hearts and home are set on Christ we can get through it all…..through Christ who can grant us everything we need to get through the hard and even the good days! Stay strong in Christ step mama’s we too play a special role in these childrens’ life.

    • Briana –

      I’m so glad you’ve found this blog inspiring! I will certainly be praying for your upcoming marriage. Know there will be days of emense joy and days of extrememe sorrow. Do not beat yourself up for those thoughts of defeat but instead look to the Lord to be your strength!!

  6. Thank you for this blog…i am to a difficult time in my new marriage..we blended a family my 3 boys and his two children boy and girl…we will be married a year in january.he is the most wonderful husband,my best friend,my prayer partner. I keep telling everyone i am a terrible stepmother because i dont handle my step children as well as he has handled my boys…my stepdaughter is 19 and lives a pretty wild life ( i get told that is my opinion) but lets just put it this way she spends weekends partying in clubs and then calls on monday for gas money and if we dont give it then the ex wife is calling telling my husband how bad a father he is…this is just a small example…our family could use prayers..so glad to read your blog it helped me tonight…thanks again, melissa

  7. Hi Misty – I’ve just come across your blog. I’m a Christian step mum in the UK to a 13 year old boy. I’ve been married to his Dad for 4 years now and we don’t have any kids together of our own.. yet! My SS mum isn’t Christian and I was reading about how it can be such a struggle between those two environments.. we know that!

    Your blog is a real encouragement and something that’s been on my heart for a long while now is that there doesn’t seem to be readily available info and support for christian step-mums, especially for those of us who don’t have kids of our own and are entering into a divorced rather than deceased situation. I’ve been trying to hunt for blogs, forums etc and not much has turned up – especially in the UK!

    A few years back now I felt that God laid on my heart to write about my experiences so that they could be shared with others. To be honest the pressures of life took over but just last night God woke me again and I felt the urge to write again. I don’t know how or what that looks like, but its encouraging to see how you write.

    Thank you for your honesty

  8. I’m so thankful for this blog! I will be marrying a wonderful, Christian man in August 2014. He has two sweet little boys from a previous marriage, ages 6 and 8. His ex-wife left him for another man (this wasn’t her only affair). They now share custody of the boys. My heart’s desire is to love my future husband and his boys in the Godliest way possible. I also want to be a good example for them when dealing with his ex-wife. I know I cannot do that without Christ’s help. Thanks for the encouraging words and scripture!!

  9. Thank you for your blog,Misty, your words are God-sent. I am very grateful that you take time out of your life to share God with us.

  10. Hi Misty,
    I am so happy that I came across your blog today. I too have no children of my own…yet. However, I am engaged to a man (a few years older than myself) with two sons, ages 13 and 10. My fiancé, John, and I have been together for about 4 years and we moved in together about 5 months ago. His boys live with us the majority of the time. Although I have been in the boys’ lives for a few years, it is such a dramatic shift to all be living in the same home now and really being in the role of stepmom. Overall our step relationship is good, but I still deal with feelings of not being good enough, of feeling like an outsider, and feeling secondary and not important…sometimes daily. And sometimes these feelings can be very overwhelming. It was so nice to read some of your entries. I love how you often put your emotions in a different light and gain a better perspective on them. I try to do that, but I often find it very, very difficult. I hope this is something that gets easier over time.
    I am not very religious, but I do consider myself very spiritual. However, I do consider myself Christian. Sometimes I have to remind myself that even Jesus had a stepfather. If the Son of God grew up in a stepfamily, then maybe we can learn something from that.
    Today has been a very stressful stepmom-day for me. I really needed some words of encouragement. When I read in a couple of your entries that we stepmoms are important to our husbands and stepchildren, that we are needed, and that there is a reason why God has put us in this often times difficult and stressful role…well…it did make me feel important, and needed, and special in my role. So thank you. I really needed that today. I will be reading more of your past entries and I look forward to the new ones to come.
    Thank you so much!
    Danielle

  11. Misty, I just found your blog during a particularly difficult season in our blended family, and I am overwhelmed sitting here at work teary-eyed. I love your perspective, it is a breath of fresh air. Please, please don’t stop writing. Your voice is so needed. – emily

  12. What a wonderful blog, thank you! I am book marking it for sure! I started dating a wonderful man with two young boys several months ago, and although I feel strongly convicted that God has set me apart to be his helper and partner in life (and this has been confirmed many times already), I also have days of thinking of the difficulties to come and thinking, “Why would anyone in their right mind CHOSE this difficult path? Why would I?!” Thank you for the encouragement and honest voice in your blog. This was exactly what I needed to be reminded that the Lord has not given me a spirit of fear, but rather has called me for a purpose and will equip me for such a purpose. I pray I can find strong step moms like you in real life to fellowship and walk with me as I embark on this journey.

  13. Thank you for this wonderful blog! God has spoken to this broken stepmom through you. It is hard. It is hard to keep my faith strong and enforce my convictions and be a true child of the Lord when bio-mom is not a christian person or let alone a decent person. But I am here for my beautiful 5 yr old step-daughter! Because of me she met the Lord, she learned what a Bible was, she learned to treat and love others as herself, she learned about prayer and now this little kindergartner leads the prayers at dinner and never ceases to pray before bed. That is why God placed me here and I will continue! I love my babies 🙂 Thanks again for a place to breathe and feel understood! May the Lord bless you, your work, and your ministry!

  14. I just stumbled across your blog, read a few recent posts and oh how they spoke to me. I’m in a serious dating relationship with the dad of wonderful 6 year old twins. He and their mom do not have a good relationship at this time. How have you been able to deal with the craziness that can come with an ex-wife?

  15. Miranda, I want you to know that I am praying for you and your boyfriend. It can be so difficuly when mom and dad have a tumultuous relationship because their stress inadvertantly spills over into your life. The most important thing you can do is focus on your relationship with the Lord and spend time in prayer with your boyfriend. Recognize that it is not out of your own power that there will be healing brought to their relationship, but the Lord can work miracles and soften hearts. When I learned to surrender (and I’m still learning I might add) and realize I didn’t have to be in control, I found a greater peace and found I wasn’t tossed to and fro with every shocking thing that happens. In fact, I found I was less prone to jump to conclusions or have negative thoughts. Hope this helps! -Misty

  16. Hi Misty,

    I completely forgot about my post on 8 July 2013, and it was so strange to read it again now. My boyfriend became my husband on 3 July 2015, and our lives have radically changed since. Reading what I wrote made me giggle…and sigh. That girl had NO idea what was waiting for her, blending a family at the same time as adapting to married life. This is by far the most difficult thing I have ever attempted, and the most isolated and alone I’ve ever felt.

    There are a however a few things I have learnt over the last 3 months that I would like to share, even though my experience is still very limited.

    1) The darkness of your heart will be exposed, and if you try to keep it in, it will surface in the most surprising and embarrassing ways. I never knew I could get this angry or jealous, resentful, childish. You name it. If it’s ugly, you will experience it. The torment is tremendous.
    Only Jesus can help you bring it into the light to bring healing and restoration, mercy and forgiveness in the times you slip, and the grace to continue. James 4:6 – “But he gives more grace. Why he said, God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble”

    2) Nobody will be able to give you the support you truly need. I still scour the internet for articles and videos to help us communicate better, to help my heart feel better, something that will explain why I am constantly depressed and near tears.
    Only Jesus can dry those tears, because he is the only one who can truly see your true intentions and your heart when others can’t. 2 Thes 2:16-17 “May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, 17 encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.”

    3) There will be extreme pressure for you to be a person you are not ready to be yet, to create space in your life for children, when in reality you only have enough space at that moment for your husband, only enough energy to start fulfilling your first calling as wife. Other Christians, without realising it, will expect you to adapt faster, to act more graciously, and to complain less. You will try to avoid all contact with others because of this. Again…
    Only Jesus can bring you into true fellowship with other believers, “not forsaking the gathering of the saints”. Only he can bring a friend to drop by unexpectedly, or to lead your husband to carry you to meetings if necessary. Heb10:25 25 “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”

    4) Anger is not a patient emotion. Your husband will not wait to see his ex to lash out. If you are there, it will be aimed at you. And you will be angry with the world for not having the incredibly romantic honeymoon phase you always hoped for, and you will lash out at him. Emotions like jealousy and anxiousness will cause tension and fights, and you will start believing marriage was a mistake.
    Col 3:8 “But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.”
    Jesus LOVES marriage, and satan hates it. There will be spiritual warfare, and you need to stand on the word, you will need to cling for dear life girl, to those promises, to every single word of our precious Lord, and you need to KNOW and LEARN FAST that manners matter, respect matters, that tone matters. Col 3:12 “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”

    and to most importantly…

    5) Cast your cares on the Lord. Cast cast cast. Become a master-caster 😉
    My hubby and I are learning to cast to the Lord together, instead of casting AT each other. I think women were made to cast. If I don’t cast to the Lord, I will cast to my hubby, and he isn’t able to bear all my burdens. Nothing cripples him faster than having to bear burdens he isn’t equipped to do something about.

    The Lord bless you, and keep you;
    The Lord make His face shine on you,
    And be gracious to you;
    The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
    And give you peace.”‘
    Num 6:22-27

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